Side-by-Side (Côte à côtisme): Definition and Distinctions in Libertinism

What is Side-by-Side (Côte à côtisme)?

“Side-by-side”, or “côte à côtisme”, is a practice in the libertarian scene where two or more couples have sexual relations in the same room, but without exchanging partners.

Each couple remains sexually exclusive, but shares the space and erotic atmosphere with others. This practice is a form of reciprocal voyeurism and exhibitionism, where pleasure is amplified by the presence and observation of others, without physical contact between members of different couples.

How does Side-by-Side differ from other practices?

It is important not to confuse côte à côtisme with:

• Swinging: Which involves an exchange of partners between couples.

• Melangism: Which allows caresses and sexual games between non-partners, but without penetration.

• Orgy: Where all participants can have sexual relations with each other, without the notion of couples.

In what context is the term Side-by-Side used?

The term “side-by-side” is very specific to libertarian and swinging jargon. You will rarely, if ever, encounter it on general gay apps or chats. In these contexts, if users are looking for a similar experience, they will use more general terms like “voyeur/exhib plan” or simply describe the desired scenario.

What are the points of caution regarding Side-by-Side?

• Consent and boundaries: Even if there is no exchange, it is essential that all participants agree with the principle of side-by-side and the boundaries (for example, the distance to maintain between couples).

• Finding partners: The search for this type of arrangement is almost exclusively done on libertarian sites or venues. Trying to propose a “side-by-side plan” on a classic gay chat risks causing confusion.

• Respect for space: The practice is based on mutual respect for each couple’s space. Interaction is visual and auditory, not physical.