Consent and drug-facilitated assault: what matters, especially when high

What exactly is consent?

Consenting means saying yes freely, knowing what you’re saying yes to, and being able to change your mind at any time. Sexosafe puts consent first among the rules of sex, including hard sex: say clearly what you want and don’t want. A yes to oral sex isn’t a yes to penetration; a yes with a condom isn’t a yes without (stealthing); a yes yesterday isn’t a yes today.

How does consent work when high?

AIDES stresses, about GHB/GBL, that since the drug can alter your mental state, consent is essential before having sex. In practice:

• someone asleep, in a G-hole, unconscious or unresponsive doesn’t consent;
• someone very drunk or very high, who can’t stand up or doesn’t know where they are, isn’t able to consent;
• what was agreed before using stays the rule: you don’t add practices along the way.

In group sex everyone is responsible: if someone is no longer fit, stop with them, get them safe and keep an eye on them (GHB: what to do).

Drug-facilitated assault

Drug-facilitated assault (called soumission chimique in French) means giving someone a substance without their knowledge (in a drink, passing one drug off as another, forcing a dose) to make them vulnerable and abuse them. GHB is often involved, but so are medicines (benzodiazepines, sleeping pills). It’s a serious offence, and the sex that follows can be sexual assault or rape.

Warning signs

• a blackout or patchy memories without having used that much;
• sudden drowsiness, feeling “knocked out”;
• waking up somewhere unfamiliar, pain, clothes in disarray, signs of sex.

What to do if you think you were drugged

1. Get safe; if in danger call 112 (in France 17, or text 114 if you can’t speak), as Sexosafe reminds us.
2. Go to A&E quickly: some drugs (like GHB) leave the body within hours. Ask for toxicology tests on blood and urine. If possible, keep your first urine.
3. PEP within 48 hours if there was unprotected penetration (PEP), then STI testing.
4. Keep evidence (messages, unwashed clothes); you can report it to the police.
5. Get support: in France 116 006 (victim support), charities, sexual health clinics. See after a sexual assault.

If it’s a friend

Don’t leave them alone, don’t judge them, help them get to A&E quickly. “You’d been using” never makes anyone responsible for what was done to them.