Sexual assault between men: what to do in the hours and days after

It’s never your fault

A hookup that goes wrong, a partner who forces you, sex while high without your agreement, a “no” ignored: that’s assault. Sexosafe says it plainly: abusive behaviour is never acceptable, whatever the context (app, sauna, chemsex, relationship). Many men wait before talking because they feel “complicit”; the #MeTooGay movement put words to exactly that. Sexosafe cites a study in which about 13.6% of gay men report experiencing sexual coercion in their lifetime. You’re not alone.

Right away

1. Get somewhere safe: home, a friend’s, a public place.
2. In danger: call 112 (in France also 17; text 114 if you can’t speak).
3. Don’t stay alone: call someone you trust.

Your health: the first 48 hours matter

• PEP: if you’re not on PrEP and there was penetration or ejaculation without a condom, go to A&E as soon as possible, ideally within 4 hours, at the latest 48 hours (PEP).
• Drugging: if you suspect you were drugged, ask straight away for toxicology tests (blood, urine): some drugs disappear within hours (drug-facilitated assault).
• Injuries: medical examination, care, a medical certificate (useful even if you don’t report it right away).
• STIs: testing in the following weeks, hepatitis B vaccination if you’re not protected.

In France, CeGIDD clinics can also help, free of charge, and offer psychological support, including for violence linked to orientation.

Evidence

If you’re considering reporting, even later: avoid washing and keep your clothes in a paper bag, keep messages, profiles, screenshots, and write down what you remember (time, place, people). It commits you to nothing and keeps your options open.

Reporting (France)

According to service-public.fr and Sexosafe, you can:

• file a complaint at a police station or gendarmerie;
• use the Interior Ministry’s online platform, with live chat with trained officers;
• write to the public prosecutor.

A victim support organisation can go with you. Reporting is a right, not a condition for getting care.

Getting support

• 116 006 (France): victim support, free, 7 days a week, or by email victimes@116006.fr;
• Sida Info Service: 0 800 840 800, for PEP, testing and prevention questions;
• SOS homophobie, LGBT centres and organisations specialising in sexual violence;
• a psychologist: reactions after an assault (numbness, nightmares, shame, anxiety, wanting to withdraw or, on the contrary, to have lots of hookups) are common and treatable (mental health).

Outside France, contact your local emergency number and sexual assault services.

Talking, to a friend, a health professional or an organisation, helps you rebuild, at your own pace.